If what most people take for granted were really true--if all you needed to be happy was to grab everything and see everything and investigate every experience and then talk about it, I should have been a very happy person, a spiritual millionaire, from the cradle even until now.... What a strange thing! In filling myself, I had emptied myself. In grasping things, I had lost everything. In devouring pleasures and joys, I had found distress and anguish and fear.
The soul is not empty, so long as the desire for sensible things remains. But the absence of this desire for things produces emptiness and liberty of soul, even when there is an abundance of possessions.
The dark night is not an abstract notion on some list of spiritual experiences every seeker is supposed to have. The dark night descends on a soul only when everything else has failed. When you are no longer the best meditator in the class because your meditation produces absolutely nothing. When prayer evaporates on your tongue and you have nothing left to say to God. When you are not even tempted to return to a life of worldly pleasure because the world has proven empty and yet taking another step through the void of the spiritual life feels futile because you are no good at it and it seems that God has given up on you, anyway.
This, says John, is the beginning of blessedness. This is the choiceless choice when the soul can do nothing but surrender.
"There is a river, whose streams gladden the city of God..." (Psalm 46:4).
The stream flowing through our lives is from eternity to eternity. It is artesian. It is totally adequate. Everything we need is borne by that stream. Its origin is the realm beyond, and it carries infinite resources. In this space-time realm, conditioned as we are, the stream can seem to be a trickle. It seems puny against the drugs we're battling, against the divisions among us or the power of greed that fuels our economy.
When we're up against all the world's needs and lacks--the way we perceive life--the stream seems inadequate. But in fact, it is a powerful, surging, cleansing tide that purifies all it touches. It is a grace torrent. It flows irrespective of merit. It carries everything that a human being has ever needed--and could ever want. Whatever we need will flow by at just the opportune moment. Our problem is that we're not attuned to the stream. We don't see it. We're not even looking in the river's direction.
But when we wait in expectancy, looking at the stream and then recognizing what we need as it floats by, we simply reach out and take the gift. It's an effortless way of living. Usually we're not attuned to effortlessness. We're too busy striving. We're holding forth and carrying on and trying to reach our goals. The wisdom of the stream is the opposite of this. What I'm talking about is moving from a conceptual awareness of God's care--the idea of God's providence--to trusting the flow of that stream that carries everything we need and will bring it at just the opportune moment.
Jesus found it difficult to understand his disciples' anxiety. He was so in the river, he was so aware that the stream carried everything that was needed, that he couldn't understand why others were having so much trouble with the idea. What he says is to set our minds on God's realm, God's justice, before everything else. Everything else will be given by the stream. This is different from achievement and different from making things happen. Do not be anxious about tomorrow, Jesus says. You'll have plenty to think about when tomorrow comes. Now the stream is flowing.
Once we get accustomed to noticing the stream, and we spend more time near the stream, taking from it what is being given, there comes another step: actually getting into the water and resting in its flow. Even when the flow is a torrent, we know we are safe. We trust the flow. We become non-resistant. We become receptive. We trust the power of the divine presence, which longs to take our one little life to its divine destination. Even if we're in deep water, we trust the flow and are not afraid. We simply wait in expectancy to round the next bend, looking in wonder at the view. Always a new view. Effortlessness, expectancy and wonder are how we live, rather than striving.
Faith, in the biblical sense, is trusting the flow and reveling in the view and being carried beyond all existing boundaries. Faith is being excited about the final destination, even when the destination is mystery. When Jesus says, "Believe in God, believe also in me," he is saying, "Get into the stream with us. It's a stream of pure grace and mercy. Go into its depths and find us there."
Gordon Cosby, along with his wife Mary, established The Church of the Saviour in 1947. In this, his 93rd year of life, he still offers his wisdom and vision to the community.
It’s as if what is unbreakable--
the very pulse of life--waits for
everything else to be torn away,
and then in the bareness that
only silence and suffering and
great love can expose, it dares
to speak through us and to us.
It seems to say, if you want to last,
hold on to nothing. If you want
to know love, let in everything.
If you want to feel the presence
of everything, stop counting the
things that break along the way
At the center of our being is a point of nothingness which is untouched by sin and illusion, a point of pure truth, a point or spark which belongs entirely to God, which is never at our disposal.... This little point of nothingness and of absolute poverty is the pure glory of God written in us.... It is like a pure diamond blazing with the invisible light of heaven. It is in everybody, and if we could see it, we would see these billions of points of light coming together in the face and blaze of a sun that would make all the darkness and cruelty of life vanish completely.
We all underestimate our need for joy. If we are not careful, we live as if our schedules are our lives. We cross one thing after another off the list. At the end of the day, we have completed our chores, but we haven't necessarily been present for our own experiences.
Nothing is more difficult than prayer. In all other tasks of religious life, however exacting, one can sometimes rest, but there is no rest in prayer, up to the end of one's life.
We tend to present to God only those parts of ourselves with which we feel relatively comfortable and which we think will evoke a positive response. Thus our prayer becomes very selective and narrow. And not just our prayer but also our self-knowledge, because by behaving as strangers before God we become strangers to ourselves.
To be called to the heights in prayer, however briefly, is to sense a new relationship with God beginning, and to be afraid. It is a definite summons within the summons of prayer itself. It is conversion-beyond-conversion. And when the summons comes, there is a real suspicion, all at once, that the ticket may be for a one-way ride.
Death is now the destination. While no particular number has been revealed, a number has nevertheless been assigned. We don't know the day or the hour. But there is momentum now, there is urgency. Life has a real term and time has to be dealt with.
Winter is no longer winter, a time of year to be gotten through with scarves and snow plows and mittens. It is winter carved more deeply into us because of all the winters that have gone before. Winter is more wintry--its special character etched by repetition.... Because we are older, we know winter: winter itself, shaped like no other thing.
And with time, the list of these uniquely shaped things grows. The intense, collective joy of a public celebration...or the heightened sorrow of some disaster.... There is a web of feeling and memory interconnecting things.... It is not a solitary but a collective memory of some keenly felt experience. The sharpening effect of time and reflection and recognition and recollection--all these together produce a heightening that is, by an odd, unanticipated twist, a hint of bliss.
Everything changes. The kaleidoscope picture of our experience is constantly shattered, dispersed, tiny beads of shape and color rearranging themselves into the next design. At moments in the company of another, and more than one, events make sense, have a pattern, somewhere. Then the image breaks once again. Yet we are conscious somehow that "it" which cannot be grasped or held constant is experience itself. And that experience, however painful, is God's sharing of God's reality, a gift from God's hand.
Now our understanding of Providence must change. Once we had thought Providence was what kept bad things from happening. A thousand would fall, and ten thousand, and not come nigh me. Now it is clear that we, too, are falling, dying, losing our grip, entering into the death-that-is-not....
Does it exist? Is it real or isn't it? Doesn't it seem that death must be tasted in order for us to say that it is not, and then, perhaps, we will already not be? .... And since he has already died our death for us, isn't it true that death no longer is and that we will not die? But isn't it also true that each of us who has been baptized into the Lord Jesus has been baptized into his death? And isn't his death--our chance to share it--the hope we are living for?
Emilie Griffin has written 15 books on the spiritual life. She continues to write about work and spirituality via The High Calling of Our Daily Work.
Every day
I see or hear
something
that more or less
kills me
with delight,
that leaves me
like a needle
in the haystack
of light.
It was what I was born for--
to look, to listen,
to lose myself
inside this soft world--
to instruct myself
over and over
in joy,
and acclamation.
Nor am I talking
about the exceptional,
the fearful, the dreadful,
the very extravagant--
but of the ordinary,
the common, the very drab,
the daily presentations.
Oh, good scholar,
I say to myself,
how can you help
but grow wise
with such teachings
as these--
the untrimmable light
of the world,
the ocean's shine,
the prayers that are made
out of grass?
Teaching about Christ begins in silence.... In so far as the Church proclaims the Word, it falls down silently in truth before the inexpressible: 'In silence I worship the unutterable' (Cyril of Alexandria). The spoken Word is the inexpressible; this unutterable is the Word.... Although it is cried out by the Church in the world, it remains the inexpressible. To speak of Christ means to keep silent; to keep silent about Christ means to speak. When the Church speaks rightly out of a proper silence, then Christ is proclaimed.
There are always two worlds. The world as it operates is power; the world as it should be is love. The secret of Kingdom life is how can you live in both--simultaneously. The world as it is will always be built on power, ego and success. Yet we also must keep our eyes intently on the world as it should be--what Jesus calls the Reign of God. Power apart from love leads to brutality; but love that does not engage with power is mere sentimentality.
No one can know in advance how one will be used, or when, or what one's life will count for in the long run. The young Pablo Casals, while pouring his life energy into years of practice on the cello, could not guess that when Franco came to power, he would stop playing for three years, and that the silence would be heard throughout Spain as if the streets were full of demonstrators....
When the need for bread is met we discover that we have other hungers, and none so deep as the hunger to be understood. The artist helps us to interpret, understand and communicate feeling. When the artist is successful we are led into communion with ourselves and with the world, and the solitary work becomes a communal work. For want of this we walk on parched land.
There is only one way to wisdom: awe. Forfeit your sense of awe, let your conceit diminish your ability to revere, and the universe becomes a marketplace for you. The loss of awe is the great block to insight.... The greatest insights happen to us in moments of awe.
The beginning of Sunday night's Olympic Opening Ceremony focused on the indigenous people of Canada. Initially, this seemed an enormously progressive perspective until one looked outside the stadium to find groups of native protesters. It seems the tribute was merely a concession to having built some of the Olympic buildings over sacred indigenous burial sites. Ashes.
Almost eight and a half years after the event, the site of the World Trade Center collapse remains a large hole in the ground. While this may indeed be a fitting symbol of all that tragedy represents, in fact it is greed, political posturing and infighting, human pettiness, and wrangling over insurance claims that has kept the site empty. As long as the address continues to be prime real estate, the nearly 3000 memories that linger there will remain dishonored. Ashes.
Another grave was dug this week for a loved one gone from me. Jewelry companies would have us believe that diamonds, with their artificially inflated value, are the most exquisite expression of love on the planet. Yet as the dirt was placed over the body of my old friend, I felt that love itself is the most rare and precious commodity we can know. And in that sorrow, I know less of it now. Ashes.
As a young Christian, I was taught that our faith was about joy and triumph. That it was an ever-upward movement. Our worship reflected it. Our evangelism was fueled by it. Now I look back and see that as folly, as mere ash. Christianity is about life. And life is often about sorrow. Disappointment. Fear. Loss. The unique call we receive as followers of the Crucified One is that we can become companions to the sorrow without being consumed by it. We can take on the ashes without becoming ash ourselves.
The message of the Cross is the same as the message of the Birth--Emmanuel--I am with you. Even in your poverty. Even in your suffering. Even in your dying. Never abandoned. Never alone.
May this joy of ashes be yours during this Lenten season.
David Wade was a part of The Church of the Saviour before moving to Virginia Beach, where he facilitates The Welcome Table, now celebrating its third anniversary. They meet at 6:00 in the chapel on the grounds of Virginia Wesleyan College.
Dear God,
Speak gently in my silence.
When the loud outer noises of my surroundings
and the loud inner noises of my fears
keep pulling me away from you,
help me to trust that you are still there
even when I am unable to hear you.
Give me ears to listen to your small, soft voice saying:
"Come to me, you who are overburdened,
and I will give you rest...
for I am gentle and humble of heart."
Let that loving voice be my guide.
Amen.
You know, there is an American myth that denies suffering and the sense of pain. It acts as if they should not be, and hence it devalues the experience of suffering. But this myth denies our encounter with reality.
Jesus did not cling to his divinity. He did not simply dip into our existence, wave the magic wand of divine life over us, and then hurriedly retreat to his eternal home. He did not leave us with a tattered dream, letting us brood over the mystery of our existence. Instead, Jesus subjected himself to our plight. He immersed himself in our misery and followed man's road to the end. He did not escape from the torment of our life, nobly repudiating man. With the full weight of his divinity he descended into the abyss of human existence, penetrating its darkest depths. He was not spared from the dark mystery of our poverty as human beings.
At night, as I lie in the camp on my plank bed, surrounded by women and girls...dreaming aloud, quietly sobbing and tossing and turning, I am sometimes filled with an infinite tenderness. And I lie awake for hours, letting the impressions of a much-too-long day wash over me. And I pray, "Let me, oh Lord, be the thinking heart of these barracks." That's what I want to be.... The thinking heart of a whole concentration camp. I lie here patiently, and now calmly, and feel a lot better. I feel strength returning. I've stopped making plans and worrying about risks. Happen what may, it's bound to be for the good.
I need to love something so desperately that the love of it will cast out every fear. A lot of us know about that kind of love. For something, some cause, some combination of wonder that is happening--to love it so desperately that you move right into it and there is no fear because your love is so great. The highest love is that of the Lord himself. That love can be so focused, so deep, so intense and so related to the call of God that even when I know I'm not "safe" in the surface sense, being faithful to that call I know I'm safe. I know that all things are working together for good for those who are called according to his purpose.
At about midnight we heard the shots ring out. My friend ran to the door and I heard him yell, “Shane, a kid has been shot, come down.”
As we looked down the street we could see a young man staggering as he walked down our block. Then his knees gave out and he fell to the ground. We called for an ambulance and ran outside to be with the boy. My friend talked to him tenderly, looking into his eyes as they struggled to stay alert. We could see the wounds in his chest, torn by bullets. I grabbed his hand and held it as we prayed … and as we hoped.
The ambulance came and drove him off. The next morning we heard that 19-year-old Papito died that night from the gunshot wounds, on Feb. 5, 2010. Papito was the fourth shooting in the last few months within walking distance from our house.
Right now in Philadelphia there is a homicide every 48 hours. A few years ago it was one a day. One a year is too many. I remember Dr. King saying something to this effect: "We are all called to be the good Samaritan, and lift our injured neighbor from the ditch on the Jericho road … but after you lift so many people from the ditch, you start to say, ‘Maybe the whole road to Jericho needs to be reimagined … so folks don’t keep ending up in the ditch.’"
After you see so many kids shoot each other, you start to ask where are they getting the guns? In our neighborhood, one of the answers to that question is a gunshop located a few blocks from our house, and it has statistically been one of the worst gunshops in the country--for having guns sold there later tracked to violent crimes on the streets. A group of local clergy and community organizers have now approached the owner, and we are urging him to sign a Code of Conduct, a 10-point covenant created by a national association of mayors committed to decreasing violence on the streets.
We will also vigil outside his gunshop next Saturday, Feb. 20. We will walk from the spot where Papito was killed to the gunshop three blocks away. There is something I want to invite you to do, if you are one of those folks who doesn’t just like pontificating but likes acting: Write or call members of Congress and encourage them to pass legislation that will decrease gun violence on our streets.
One such law we are pursuing in Pennsylvania would limit the number of guns to “One Handgun a Month.” Part of the problem is that there are no limitations to how many guns folks can buy, which is why they end up being resold on the streets by “straw purchasers.” We are not even trying to stop the “right to bear arms”; we’re just saying maybe one handgun a month is enough. And for those of us who are Christians, Jesus sure didn’t have much to say about the right to bear arms, but he had a heck of a lot to say about loving our enemies… so we hope Christians of conscience can help lead this important struggle for peace.
Keep our neighborhood in your prayers. Pray for Papito’s family, for those who killed him, and for the arms dealers in our world (both local gunshops and gunshops like Lockheed Martin). We had a powerful memorial for Papito this week, where about 100 of us gathered as a neighborhood with Papito’s family. We prayed. We cried. We read scripture. We ached for an end to the bloodshed.
Rest in Peace, Papito, my brother. And we will do our best to make sure that other lives are not taken the way that yours was. May God continue to heal all that is broken in our hearts, in our streets, and in our world.
Shane Claiborne is a founding partner of The Simple Way, a radical faith community that lives among and serves the homeless in the Kensington neighborhood of Philadelphia. He is also the author and co-author of several books. This article is reprinted from the Thursday, Feb. 11, edition of SojoMail. You can subscribe to SojoMail here.
Days pass when I forget the mystery.
Problems insoluble and problems offering
their own ignored solutions
jostle for my attention, they crowd its antechamber
along with a host of diversions, my courtiers, wearing
their colored clothes; caps and bells.
And then
once more the quiet mystery
is present to me, the throng's clamor
recedes: the mystery
that there is anything, anything at all,
let alone cosmos, joy, memory, everything,
rather than void: and that, 0 Lord,
Creator, Hallowed one, You still,
hour by hour sustain it.
The same love that motivates us to preach the gospel and meet some basic needs should also motivate us toward getting behind the needs to their causes.... The questions don't stop with the structures of society that make victims out of people. The questions continue right down into our lives, into our own homes, into the ways that we personally participate in and benefit from the way the structures are set up. It is painful because we might discover that we are guilty of being a part of an unjust system.
When Christians draw lines between themselves and others, Jesus remains a relentless and scandalous crosser of these lines. He quietly slips to the other side. Whenever an attempt to imprison him is made he disappears from sight and appears elsewhere. Thus is lived out the paradoxical nature of Christian identity. A Christian is simultaneously a member of a community and an outsider. It is as if Jesus still prefers to be with the outcast, however wrong their beliefs or behavior, rather than with those who are self-righteously sure that only they are right. The intolerant Christian isolates himself or herself from the Christ of universal tolerance. Jesus' truth is greater than all the opinions about him put together.
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